Sunday, December 25, 2011

Anyone know a good crossdresser friendly transformation / makeover business in the northern Indiana / southern Michigan area? I had a dream last night that I’d like to try to make a reality. Message me here or email me at ashleykate574@gmail.com

Saturday, July 16, 2011

revisiting

I am officially flirt stupid.  Yet another old friend visited from out of town recently and through the course of the evening, she tells me that she used to have the hots for me... and I missed it.  How many does this make?  6?  8?  The worst part is that she's now engaged, so no chance for anything in the future.  So, I ask 2 questions:  First, how stupid am I?  Looking back, how could I miss it?  And secondly, why do women feel the need to tell me years later what I could have had?

That conversation with my old friend absolutely killed me.  Thank God for alcohol.  Being slightly buzzed is the only way I made it the rest of the night without my emotions taking over.  I woke up this morning and remembered it all and had a bit of a cry about it.

Clearly, on some level I've been trying to replace female companionship by dressing up.  Recently I've begun to feel that maybe I really have been changing my expectations for my life, that maybe I can be happy being single as long as I can dress and keep meeting new CD friends online.  Rereading my last post just seems like I was totally out of touch with my true desires.  I know I'm a sissy and that won't change but I still want to share my life, this life, including the sissy parts, with a woman and have some sort of family with her.  I'm approaching 40 years old and I feel doomed to be a bachelor forever.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

gone too far?

 I should first apologize for having left this blog dormant for so long.  I didn't mean to.  Its just that tumblr is quite the rabbit hole and time just seems to evaporate.

Have I gone too far?  I haven't slept with a woman in over a year.  In that respect, I just don't have the drive that I once did.  I'm still attracted to women but ... they just don't seem as high a priority.

I can't get off without thinking about a man (or at least a tranny).  I fantasize about being his plaything, about his hands on my body, his cock...  In my fantasy he calls me his girl.  As he takes me from behind, he says things like, "You'll always remember me.  I'm the one that made you a woman."

But what the hell do I mean by "going too far?"  Have these lovely ladies "gone too far?"

I'm still so afraid of this... of myself.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I'm imagining the emphasis she puts on the word as she calls me her little slut.